Monday, October 14, 2013

My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 10-1

My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 80-71
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 70-61
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 60-51
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 50-41
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 40-31
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 30-21 
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 20-11

10. Enslaved Horror
 photo EnslavedHorror_zps5dc3e432.jpg
There are times when you will get a 4/4 for 4. And times when your opponent merely gets his Armored Pegasus back. But then there are times when you Doom Bladed a Yosei, the Morning Star and can't play this card. Multi-player is also a very bad idea.

9. Soldevi Steam Beast
I always liked the idea of playing this in a multiplayer game and just gaining favor with someone. But it's just a little too awful to even function in that regard. 5 mana is way too much for essentially a 2/2 creature. It's a regeneration ability away from being the worst creature ever. If your opponent can find a way to tap it then you are SOL. And you know what that means.

8. Takenos Cavalry
 photo TakenosCavalry_zps3e090e67.jpg
Get ready for a slew of 4 mana weenies. While cheaper than Horizon Seed, it's also more worthless... 2/2 against creatures helps, but that makes it worse than a Grizzly Bears for 4 mana. I suppose it can kill Horizon Seed, so it has that going for it.

7. Aven Trooper
 photo AvenTrooper_zpsedd3aa39.jpg
This one has flying and the ability to gain a hand full of one turn Holy Strengths. 5WW for a 2/3 flier and the loss of a card... Eeeesh. 7WWW for a one turn 3/5 flier. Also, the art reminds me of Japan and the flavor text makes little sense to me.

6. Alabaster Leech
 photo AlabasterLeech_zps22d91fbe.jpg
You wouldn't, repeatedly wouldn't play this card ever. Is a 1/3 blocker worth this kind of drawback. Your opponent probably won't mind not being able to attack with their weenie given how this will hamper you. The kind of card that would be fixed with it's stats reversed.

5. Bog Hoodlums
 photo BogHoodlums_zps7b6cb4a6.jpg
Even if your wildest dreams came true, you just paid 6 mana for 5/2 that can't block. There are 12 creatures in Magic with a 5/2 PT and not only can they all block, most have some ability on top of it. Oh and they cost an average of 4.

4. Sophic Centaur
 photo SophicCentaur_zps96042166.jpg
Are you drawing too many cards? Do you have too much mana? Would you like to gain a trivial amount of life? Is Takenos Cavalry too good of a card? Well this card fixes all those problems for the low low cost of 5GGG.

3. Razorgrass Screen
 photo RazorgrassScreen_zps6f430704.jpg
A poor man's Wall of Spears, if that's even possible. Did it really have to be forced to block. It can't attack! Any vanilla 1/1 is better than this. Just a waste of cardboard. I don't care if it helps Affinity, so does Library of Leng.

2. Wood Elemental
 photo WoodElemental_zpsbf93af25.jpg
The worst creature of all still basically the worst creature of all time. I don't know what I could possibly say about it that hasn't been spewed. The untapped forests part of it is what really makes it bad. Armageddoning yourself for a creature is super risky, but the fact that you can be 4-1d pretty easily for 4 mana is atrocious.

1. Mishra's War Machine
 photo MishrasWarMachine_zpsecfdf310.jpg
How much would you pay for a 5/5 Bander? Did you say 7, if so well then you win. You win the ability to discard a card every turn. You changed your mind you say, well then I'm sorry that will be 3 damage and your little war machine is going to need a little nappy bye. It's cost you two cards and 7 mana minimum to attack with Cinderella's Wagon. It's a problem that it doesn't have the out that both Masticore and Razormane Masticore have, and they are much cheaper.

And that's all folks, thanks for reading. I hope it was at least mildly interesting.

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