Tuesday, September 24, 2013

My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 40-31

My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 80-71
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 70-61
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 60-51
My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 50-41

40. Goblin War Wagon
 photo GoblinWarWagon_zps4be5b3d8.jpg
This card aspires to be a Hill Giant. Yes, it's terrible enough to be one of the worst artifacts and creatures of all time. Unnecessary cost to untap this. If it cost 1 to untap, maybe it would only be bad. Or if you could pay 2 to untap at anytime, it would be interesting. It doesn't even count as a Goblin, which is the worst sin this card could make.

39. Vindictive Mob
 photo VindictiveMob_zpsba44140f.jpg
Overpriced, not easily splash-able, get's you 2-1ed. It has no evasion or trample. There are slightly easier ways for Black to get a creature of this relative size. And it's so uncool. A Black mob? Take that Saprolings!

38. Vodalian Soldiers
 photo VodalianSoldiers_zpscc96f3dd.jpg
A staple for some reason, but that doesn't mean it isn't a waste of cardboard. White gets Savannah Lions, Green gets elves. Red gets goblins. Black has various zombies/Child of the Night. Blue get's this, this thing. I suppose you are stopping the Savannah Lion or Child of the Night, but you are getting the raw end of those deals.

37. Grollub
 photo Grollub_zpsfbfcc84b.jpg
Completely unplayable in a multiplayer game, hopefully there isn't a 2/4 blocker out there or this is going to be a dead card. Also hope they don't have Pestilence. Exodus was such a good set too. At least they fixed this with Spitemare.
It's just easier to play a generic 3/3 which costs 1 more or a 2/3 which doesn't have that drawback.

36. Barrenton Medic
  photo BarrentonMedic_zps6359631c.jpg
5 mana is just way too much(about 3 more than it should) for what this card does. It can only prevent a limited amount of damage, and it leaves a decent blocker but so does Wall of Omens. It's only a temporary thing which for that cost is such a bad deal. Maybe there is some combo for it, but it's not worth looking up.

35. Derelor
 photo Derelor_zps2a20140b.jpg
Classic terrible creature. Oh how Black has such giant drawbacks. This is playable in one circumstance - when you are only splashing Derelor. In that case, why do you need a generic 4/4 for the cost of color screwing yourself. I guess if you had a way to give this to your mono black opponent, then bam!

34. Woodcloaker
 photo Woodcloaker_zpsf1a78f77.jpg
Pay 6 mana for a generic 3/3 which you would never ever do. Or pay 7 mana broken up into 2 turns for a 3/3 which gives temporary trample. I think their heart was in a good place with this, but Trample for one turn to one creature is not worth the cost of a normal card that would cost 5. It is an elf though and the art is pretty sweet.

33. Mindless Null
 photo MindlessNull_zpsd378a65b.jpg
Someone, somewhere was wondering how to make Scathe Zombies even worse. WELL, they pulled that off. I suppose occasionally you could have a vampire, but then why can't you make it 3/3 or at least 2 mana. So awful. Supposedly it should have cost 2 mana, but someone put a typo in and everyone found it funny enough to keep.

32. Viashino Skeleton
 photo ViashinoSkeleton_zpsc9c6d750.jpg
This gets bonus points for giving me nightmares when I was younger. I seriously had nightmares as a kid of animal skeletons being trapped in walls.
At one point the worst rated creature on the Gatherer. 4 mana gives you a 3/3 creature typically in Red. This one has already been hit by Phrexian Boon. Geehh. And paying 2 mana of a different color while discarding a card to regenerate is something that one would do? Is it that wrong to give a red creature regeneration?

31. Warping Wurm
 photo WarpingWurm_zpsad8298b2.jpg
What a piece of junk. Not to be compared to the Millenium Falcon, the Warping Wurm is super awful. I feel like I'm missing something.
Turn 1-3: can't be played typically.
Turn 4: cast a 1/1.
Turn 5: phases out
Turn 6: 2/2
Turn 7: phases out
Turn 8: 3/3
Turn 9: phases out
Turn 10: 4/4
Then you have to pay 4 mana a turn to use the thing every turn, but at that point you might as well just have it keep growing cause this game you are in probably is in no hurry to end.

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