Thursday, August 29, 2013

My 80 Worst Magic Creatures 80-71

Time to kick off a new series of articles called don't play these creatures.

Negative Drawbacks
Overcosted Creatures
Underwhelming Stats

Why 80? Because I didn't feel like looking up another 20, and cutting out 30 wouldn't be fair to how bad they are. I did all my research in only a few hours, so I'm sure I'm missing out on some.

Few staples in the world of magic:
a 2/2 for 3CC - Grey Ogre
and a
3/3 for 4CC - Hill Giant

These are very generic, very boring. These are not going to show up here. At least the creatures here have to be worse than this.

There are some creatures I considered, but the end of the day they have uses:
Leviathan, Demonic Hordes

80. Elder Spawn
 photo ElderSpawn_zpsdf9fba48.jpg
7 cost including 3 blue isn't easy. You do get a big fattie, which isn't all bad and is anti-red to boot.
Not having trample hurts though and that drawback can add up fairly quickly.

79. Kjeldoran Guard
 photo KjeldoranGuard_zps7cc593bd.jpg
Ignoring the last half of this card because no one plays snow covered lands anymore - you get an expensive weenie which can pump any creature. Fairly average until you see that if that creature dies so does the guard. Hello twofer.

78. Armored Cancrix
 photo ArmoredCancrix_zps11c80567.jpg
When we had our M14 draft, we all laughed at the Pillarfield Ox and how terrible it was. Well this is +0/+1 better for the additional cost of 1. Vanilla blocker sure. And compared to the Gray Ogre - 2 more mana to have your creature get 3 toughness? Not good. It does get some points for some bad-ass art.

77. Hundroog
 photo Hundroog_zpsb6c29a02.jpg
Too expensive, I don't care if it does have expensive cycling. To me, cycling is a last resort ability. Erhnam Djinn is laughing at this thing.

76. Viashino Slasher
 photo ViashinoSlasher_zps356347db.jpg
Wizards of the Coast really dislike 2 mana costed Red and Black creatures. This one is no exception. Blue has the exact same thing, except it has flying on it. The ability to pump him once keeps him from going about 20 spots lower on this list, but there are so many better 2 Red drops. The art on the other hand is pretty sweet.

75. Ur-Drago
 photo Ur-Drago_zpsf6aa5c38.jpg
Speaking of sweet art, this thing rocks. Same name as the Rocky 4 bad guy(almost). Cool gold background, a LEGEND. 4/4 first striker! Stops Swampwalkers! And it costs 7...pass...

74. Gosta Dirk
 photo GostaDirk_zps49dd0233.jpg
Deja vu! It's the good guy from Rocky 6. I dislike him slightly more due to the color combination.

73. Brass Gnat
 photo BrassGnat_zpsef120091.jpg
Blue and White each have their own 1/1 fliers for 1. Heck black has Will o'the Wisp. No one is playing this thing cause the want to. Red has hasty creatures and doesn't really need this. Does Green need a quick flier this bad?

72. Saprazzan Raider
 photo SaprazzanRaider_zps3575b773.jpg
It can attack every turn for 3 mana, unless it isn't blocked. mwahaha Sure you have to pay 3 mana every time and it won't live in combat to anything larger than a Drudge Skeleton. The biggest problem is that it looks like it should have flying. I see it's a tail, but my argument stays.

71. Spurred Wolverine
 photo SpurredWolverine_zpsbc30c375.jpg
5 mana for a 3/2 is fairly putrid. It makes Armored Cancrix look like a deal. Tapping multiple beasts to give first strike is a thing. Yeah, it's a thing.