"I've been making a lot of Freudian slips lately," a guy says to his friend.
"Like what?" asks his buddy.
"Last week I asked the train conductor for two pickets to Tittsburgh."
"I did something similar the other day," says the friend.
"My wife and I were having breakfast, and instead of saying, 'Honey pass the butter,' I said, 'You fucking bitch, you ruined my life!"