Wednesday, February 25, 2009

The 15 Funniest Wrestling Ideas Ever.

I used to love wrestling, so for me to not have done a wrestling blog yet, I feel is pretty good.
This one isn't serious, but a look at the 15 most hilarious wrestling ideas ever.

An honorable mention goes out for the following "wrestlers": Jay Leno, Robocop and Dennis Rodman.

15. N'Sync Copy
3 Count would sing and dance while getting pummeled.
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14. The Fat Chick Thriller
He would hit on overweight ladies in the audience.
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13. The Barber
Brutus the Beefacke carried around giant scissors and word leopard pink tights.
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12. The Evil Dentist
Dr. Isaac Yankum was just that.
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11. The Tug Boat Captain
A clumsy fat guy.
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10. The Mountie
Corrupt French Canadian law enforcer. His theme song was "I'm the Mountie"
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9. The Evil Golf Pro Instructor
Barry Darsow won matches by using his putter.
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8. The Bird tamer
A gay bird enthusiast
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7. The Garbage Pail Kid
Didn't really wrestle and just farted and picked his nose.
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6. Elvis
The Honky Tonk Man was an Elvis impersonator/cocky singer.
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5. The Clown
Doink was an evil clown who played pranks.
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4. The Evil Tax Collector
Worse a tie and worked crowds who hated the IRS into a frenzy.
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3. Yummy Mummy
The Yeti was a mummy who looked like the breakfast cereal.
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2. The Penises
Two Johnsons trying to be just that.
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1. The Chicken
The Gobbledygooker hatched on live TV as an oversized Turkey spewing bird sounds.
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15 albums that changed my life

From Facebook:
Think of 15 albums that had such a profound effect on you they changed your life. Dug into your soul. Music that brought you to life when you heard it. Royally affected you, kicked you in the ass, literally socked you in the gut, is what I mean.

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Greatest artist ever.

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I could watch this forever

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Reminds me of laser tag

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My old babysitter would listen to it with me

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Got me into rock music

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Used to listen to on the freeway on vacations

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Reminds me of playing cards in my room

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Started me down the rap road

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One of the last albums I agreed with people on

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Reminds me of a relationship I had

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Workout album for me, I can always run to these songs

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Doesn't have one on it which is the most memorable, but Enter Sandman reminds me of page dances

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I seemed to always listen to this after breaking up with someone

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Reminds me of someones house/time in my life

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Another time in my life/relationship album

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Top 10 Karate Kid One Liners

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Thanks to Hulu for letting me watch this movie today.

Karate Kid is one of the greatest movies ever, if you don't believe me then watch this video:


Here are my top ten single quotes:
HM: Whaaa...whaaa...WHHAAA
10. Nobody touches the prima donna til the tournament
9. Cobra Kai.........Never Die!
8. If do right, no can defense
7. Mercy is for the weak
6. FEAR DOES NOT EXIST IN THIS DOJO DOES IT? NO SENSAI
5. Strike First, Hit Hard, No Mercy
4. Daniel-san, sand the floor! Myagi....whacks off
3. sweep the leg, you got a problem with that?
2. YOUR KARATE IS SHIT LA RUSO
1. This is a Karate Dojo, not a knitting class

Too bad we'll have to wait until the remake comes out in 2010!

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Casting Captain Planet

What if Captain Planet was made into a movie?

Now what is Captain Planet you say? It's a cartoon from the 80's which tries to increase environmental awareness.

I think the beginning of the show sums it up pretty good.


The ending isn't too shabby either.


Now what if this was made into a movie. Not completely unlikely due to Transformers and GI-Joe, but still pretty unlikely. Here I make my pitch for leading this fiasco. These are the people I would cast.

Gaia: Angelina Jolie
Gaia, the spirit of the earth represents beauty, strength and is virginal. Jolie has the first two.
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Kwame(Earth): Tyrese Gibson
Kwame is serious, down to earth(har har), and more important isn't a thug. Tyrese Gibson fits those requirements well. Gibson(Waist Deep, Death Race, Transformers) would make a good Kwame.
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Wheeler(Fire): Paul Walker
I honestly couldn't think of anyone else for Wheeler. Maybe it is the hair, but they do both have the same humor and cockiness.
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Linka(Wind): Scarlett Johansson
Linka is a blonde with an attitude and an accent. Johansson(The Horse Whisperer, Lost in Translation) is actually American but a vocalist.
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Gi(Water): Yunjin Kim
I honestly didn't know about Kim(Lost) before this. She has the look though which is what tipped me off. She is serious while not being too whiny.
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Ma-Ti(Heart): Eric Bana
Bana may not fit the "Young People" description but theres no one else I would have play Ma-Ti than the compassionate-in-every-role Bana.
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Captain Planet: Daniel Craig
The most important casting decision. You need a action star for this one, and they don't have to speak english well(most don't though). My leading choice would be Craig who could pull this part off magically.
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Dr. Blight(Hate): Cameron Diaz
Diaz has a mean side to her. She plays a cold rich lady very well in Any Given Sunday and could do it again. The look is perfect to top it off.
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Hoggish Greedly: Ron Lester
Pig looking guy who is all about industrialization. Ron Lester from Varsity Blues and Not Another Teen Movie would be great except that he lost all that weight. He would have to gain it back or I would put John Leguizamo(Clown from Spawn) back into a fat suit.
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Duke Nukem(Super Radiation): Gary Oldman
Duke is essentially nuculear corn. Oldman plays a great bad guy and can also do the crazy thing which matches Nukem.
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Looten Plunder(Deforestation): John Shea
Plunder is an poacher and rich business guy. No one plays the rich business guy like John Shea. He played Lex Luthor for years remakably well in Lois and Clark - The New Adventures of Superman.
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Verminous Skumm(Toxics): Patrick Swayze
Swayze is back and nimble as ever. The fact that he looks like a rat now is great for me and my new movie. Skumm like Splinter is part rat, part human who is all about poor sanitation.
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Sly Sludge(Smog): Brian Cox
Cox plays an amazing bad guy(Troy, X-Men). Sludge is a garbage collector who cares nothing about the future of the planet.
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Zarm: Jon Voight
Voight also plays great bad guys(Mission Impossible, Varsity Blues). He would do good at playing Zarm, the former spirit of the earth who is out to destroy other planets.
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Captain Pollution: Alan Rickman
Yes, even the bad guys can summon their own champion. Alan Rickman plays a charasmatic bad guy so well, he would add some needed credibility to Captain Pollution.
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