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Top 20 Chuck Norris Facts

To cheer you up :)

20. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

19. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

18. When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

17. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

16. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

15. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

14. Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

13. Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

12. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

11. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, …

The Drink Olympics

20 Categories of drinks, each given a medal for what they accomplished or didn't

Best Juice
Bronze: Lemonade
Not juice in the truest sense, but pretty great.


Silver: Orange Juice


Gold: Apple Cider
Beats out apple juice by quite a bit. Goes well with donuts, yum.


Worst Juice
Bronze: Grape
This was a close one for me. Grape juice isn't that bad as you could probably make worse juices from other fruit, but it really has nothing going for it.


Silver: Grapefruit
I hate grapefruit, so this is disgusting.


Gold: Prune
Eck!


Best Summer Drink
Bronze: Tang
There is nothing like powdered OJ during a hot day.


Silver: Hawaiian Punch
Want some nice Hawaiian Punch? Sure! (Wham)


Gold: Sunny D
Artificial OJ loaded up the patoie with sugar.


Healthiest Drink
Bronze: Cranberry Juice
All kinds of health benefits, you should drink when you're sick.


Silver: Milk
Does a body good. Nice source of calcium.


Gold: H2O
I'm 90% sure that 70% of the body is made up of water. Also, 100% of all statistics are made up.


Best Fr…