Sunday, January 18, 2009

Will Ferrell's 10 Craziest Characters

10. Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly
Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back
Totally hopeless wanna-be cop
"It may not be my way, but damn if there doesn't go one happy family. All right, gang, let's just shoot some tear gas into the diner, and then when the guys come out with the monkey, we'll... Fuckbeans. That was them, wasn't it?"

9. George Bush
Your president and mine

8. Jackie Moon
Flint owner and basketball player
"Everybody panic! It's just like the Titanic but it's full of bears!"

7. Lance DeLune
Ladies Man
Wrestler whose wife is cheating on him
"Well, Lance, you're clearly gay. There's nothing really else to say about that. I think you all know that. And that's cool, but, you know, you were trying to oil me up and that's not really cool. "

6. Chazz Michaels
Blades of Glory
Blowhard, hair obsessed, sex addict olympian
"Troubled childhood? If you consider a 9 year old kid with a 35 year old girlfriend troubled."

5. Buddy
Cheerful Elf who goes to NY
"I'm sorry I ruined your lives, and crammed eleven cookies into the VCR."

4. Mugatu
Named after a star trek monster, has some great dialogue
"The man has only one look, for Christ's sake! Blue Steel? Ferrari? Le Tigra? They're the same face! Doesn't anybody notice this? I feel like I'm taking crazy pills! I invented the piano key necktie, I invented it!"

3. Ricky Bobby
Talladega Nights
Racecar driver who loses all confidence
"heck I just read in the newspaper they put a pig heart in some guy from Russia, you know what, I mean, you know what that means?
no, I don't know what that means, I guess longer lives
no, he didn't live's just exciting that we are trying things"

2. Frank the Tank
Old School
Responsible Frank reverts to his college days
"Got a long day tomorrow, we're going to Home Depot"

1. Ron Burgundy
1970's newscaster who rumbles with other news teams
"It's called Sex Panther by Odeon.
It's illegal in nine countries.
Yep, it's made with bits of real panther.
So you know it's good.
It's quite pungent.
It's a formidable scent.
It stings the nostrils.
In a good way.
I'll be honest with you.
That smells like pure gasoline.
They've done studies, you know.
That doesn't make sense.
Let's go see if we can make this little kitty purr.
Hey, sweet cheeks. Got an invite I'd like to extend your way.
My God.
What is that smell?
That's the smell of desire, milady.
God, no, it smells like...
Like a used diaper filled with Indian food.
Excuse me.
Desire smells like that to some people.
What is that? Smells like a turd covered in burnt hair!
It smells like Bigfoot's dick!
Oh, hell, that's rank!
Oh, what's that smell?
This is worse than the time the raccoon got in the copier."

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