Thursday, January 22, 2009

My 100 movies (as of 2006 - Pre Netflix) 90 - 81

90. Rat Race
All star cast has to race towards a giant slab of money. Roughly 9 A-list actors and some other people you will probably recognize. And in case you're curious, Smashmouth wins the race.

"Your daughter has to go to the bathroom!"
"All right, all right, Jason, look in the back for an empty jar."
"A jar? Girls don't pee in jars."
"Oh, right. Sorry. Jason, we're gonna need a jar and a funnel."

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Veterans, we salute you.


89. Blue Streak
Martin Lawrence has some really funny movies, (Black Knight, National Security, Rebound) This is the best one in which he is a jewel thief, steals a diamond and hides it in the police headquarters before he gets caught and goes in to get it.

"Hey, this is the police. Move your busted-ass vehicle. Move, move, move, move. This is the LAPD. We'll pop one in your ass. We got guns and shit."

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This is gonna hurt a little bit


88. Not Another Teen Movie
Spoof on American Pie, Shes All That, Can't Hardly Wait, Pretty In Pink, Varsity Blues and probably some others. I don't think there is one scene in the whole movie I didn't like or can't quote.

"Hey, uhh... I might be late to pick you guys up."
"Why, do you have a job interview today, daddy?"
"No honey, I'll probably just be waaaay too drunk."
"Oh, that's good, we don't want you drinking and driving."
"Oh, I'll be driving. I'll just be too shit-faced to remember to pick you guys up."

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Shut your hole wang chung


87. Scary Movie
A hair better than NATM, due to it's originality. Anna Farris leads the way in all 4 movies parodying Scream, The Haunting, Signs, The Ring, the Village, Saw and War of the Worlds.

SM1 - "Rule No.1. you gotta be quick
Rule No.2. Don't fall down
and Rule No.3. Whatever you do, never look back y'all wish me luck........ snatch and run y'all!"

SM2 - "Oh, God. Morphine, chloroform, horse tranquilizers! You drugged him!"
"I did not! That's all his stuff!"

SM3 - "We loved our daughter very much, but she was evil. Made the horses crazy. Killed our puppies. Hid the remote. Really sick shit."

SM4 - "That last lightning bolt smelled like .. A giant turd…" "Yeah... the lightning..."

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SM1 - Black TV


SM2 - Let Me Give You A Hand


SM3 It's happening, you'll never take me alive!


SM4 - Wrong foot


86. The Waterboy
Very underrated Adam Sandler movie where he plays a mentally handicapped linebacker/water boy. Hilarious scenes in between some of the most mind numbing dialogue you will ever hear.

"I was wondering, if perhaps if you would need the services of an experienced waterboy" "That’s pretty cute, how old are you kid, 11, 12? I am 31 years old" "AHAHAHA(x80), you know that guy's a virgin"

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Captain Insano


85. Road Trip
Guy cheats on his girlfriend 18 states away and then accidentally mails her a copy of it. He takes 3 friends with him to go get it before she does. The only movie of Tom Greens that I enjoy. Great chemistry between Brecken Meyer and Amy Smart. Sean William Scott carries it.

"It's supposed to be a challenge, that's why they call it a shortcut. If it was easy it would just be the way."

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84. Home Alone
My favorite Christmas movie with maybe the only exception being the Grinch. Little Macaulay Culkin is left alone and has to stop Joe Pesci and Daniel Stern from robbing his house. The end of the movie has the greatest physical comedy ever.

"This house is so full of people it makes me sick. When I grow up and get married, I'm living alone."

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That's four


83. ET
The beginning of Steven Spielberg's reign of Alien movies(stupid Indiana Jones). Of all the people on the planet, the poor alien gets left with Drew Barrymore. Little Elliott has to save ET from the Men In Black otherwise their gay bond will kill Elliott.

"He's a man from outer space and we're taking him to his spaceship."
"Well can't he just beam up?"
"This is reality."

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82. The Incredibles
This is one of the two Pixar movies I can stand. I love superheroes so that’s probably a big reason I like this movie. Superheroes get banned by the planet but Mr. Incredible makes a return after not being able to stand working a normal job. Ends up with a super villain opponent who was once a jaded fan.

(As a robot tears through the city, Henchmen watch on TV) Henchman: "Every time they run, we take a shot!"

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81. Spawn
Another "Incredibly" (har har) underrated movie. Martin Sheen, John Leguizamo, and Michael Jai White are perfectly cast in this superhero movie about a hired killer who wants to quit but gets offed by his boss due to a request from the devil. He comes back to earth for his wife and to get revenge. The only bad thing is the effects are soooooo badly dated now.

Spawn:"You filthy little piece of vermin. What makes you think I would join your army? You can take that army of yours and shove it."
Clown:"Sounds like a country song."
Clown:"Uh-oh. You've got that, I want to beat the fat little man look in your eyes."

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Cheerleader from hell

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