Thursday, January 29, 2009

The Drink Olympics

20 Categories of drinks, each given a medal for what they accomplished or didn't

Best Juice
Bronze: Lemonade
Not juice in the truest sense, but pretty great.
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Silver: Orange Juice
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Gold: Apple Cider
Beats out apple juice by quite a bit. Goes well with donuts, yum.
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Worst Juice
Bronze: Grape
This was a close one for me. Grape juice isn't that bad as you could probably make worse juices from other fruit, but it really has nothing going for it.
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Silver: Grapefruit
I hate grapefruit, so this is disgusting.
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Gold: Prune
Eck!
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Best Summer Drink
Bronze: Tang
There is nothing like powdered OJ during a hot day.
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Silver: Hawaiian Punch
Want some nice Hawaiian Punch? Sure! (Wham)
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Gold: Sunny D
Artificial OJ loaded up the patoie with sugar.
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Healthiest Drink
Bronze: Cranberry Juice
All kinds of health benefits, you should drink when you're sick.
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Silver: Milk
Does a body good. Nice source of calcium.
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Gold: H2O
I'm 90% sure that 70% of the body is made up of water. Also, 100% of all statistics are made up.
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Best Frozen Drink
Bronze: ICEE
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Silver: Slushi
Thank you come again, oh thats Squishi...
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Gold: Slurpee
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Best Hot Drink
May not be on here with the exception of cookie tea. Though I haven't tried it, it must be awesome.
Bronze: Tea/Cookie Tea
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Silver: Hot Chocolate
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Gold: Coffee
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Best Drink for Runnin a Race
Bronze: Gatorade
Not only tastes better, it quenches your thirst better.
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Silver: Powerade
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Gold: All Sport
They don't make this stuff anymore, but holy cow was it awesome. It would be my drink of choice for sure for exercising. Lemon Lime was the best.
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Funnest Drink
Bronze: Capri Sun
Opening the package is half the experience.
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Silver: Squeeze It
Squeeze the fun out of it would imply it's loaded with fun.
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Gold: Burple
Out of stock accordion like drink was just as fun to play with as it was to drink. You just needed to add water.
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Best Tasting Medicine
Bronze: Robitussin
Makes getting a cough fun.
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Silver: Cherry Blast
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Gold: Bubble Gum
Mmm pink bubble gum stuff is dreamy...
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Best Specialized Drink
Bronze: Vernors
Very good when you crave ginger ale. Don't know what food it goes with though.
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Silver: Diet Pepsi Max
My own personal choice. Good when you don't want calories, but want caffine. The ginseng makes it taste reasonable.
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Gold: Cherry Coke
Perfect for the movie theatre. Goes great with popcorn.
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Best Energy Drink
Bronze: Red Bull
The original ED, the first one I ever had kept me up all night.
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Silver: Monster
Very good in a small dose. Too syrupy too drink too much. Works though.
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Gold: Amp
Very smoothe, with a little bit of a mountain dewey taste.
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Best Cow Product Drink
Bronze: Half and Half
Can't drink much by itself, but great in those little shot packages.
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Silver: Egg Nog
Great for Christmas time. It really depends on what brand you buy. The last one I had was good, so I have a favorable lasting impression.
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Gold: Milk Shake
Chocolate or Vanilla, Strawberries okay. All terrific, depends what you are in the mood for.
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Best Alcoholic Drink
Bronze: Wine
Just okay, but better than mixed drinks and other crazy hardcore drinks.
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Silver: Schmirnoff Ice
I'd probably drink this if I wasn't afraid of my manhood being put in question. One summer I was drinking these pretty good though. Tastes great, it'll get you drunk.
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Gold: Beer
Tastes worse but goes with most food better. More alkehol.
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Best Shot
Bronze: Incredible Hulk
With Hypnotiq and some other stuff you would think it would be awful, but it's great.
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Silver: Superman
Tastes just like Superman ice cream. Yum...yum...
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Gold: Oatmeal Cookie
My favorite shot, tastes like...wait for it...a cookie!
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Worst Drink
Bronze: Gin
Absolute poison. Shouldn't be consumed. I would rather drink Everclear.
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Silver: Mountain Dew Code Red
The first Mountain Dew spin off, a disgrace to Mountain Dew everywhere.
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Gold: V8
Ugh, vegetable juice is the worst thing ever.
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Cheapest Pop (Best Faygo)
Bronze: Red Pop
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Silver: Orange Pop
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Gold: Rock and Rye
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Best Non Caffinated Pop
Bronze: Sprite
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Silver: 7-Up
Tastes really good diet.
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Gold: Root Beer
Amazing with ice-cream.
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Best Caffinated Pop
All three of these change positions with me quite often. This is just how I have them as of this moment.
Bronze: Dr. Pepper
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Silver: Pepsi
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Gold: Coke
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Nostalgia (Best No Longer Made)
Bronze: Surge
Kind of like a Moon Mist, Vault combination. It was good.
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Silver: Josta
A combination of angels and red pop. I would die if they brought this stuff back. People started petitions for both Surge and Josta.
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Gold: Crystal Pepsi
I don't think it tasted the same as regular Pepsi, but the whole idea of this was superb.
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Best Drink
Bronze: Jolt
Before energy drinks, this is what you drank to wake up. 2 times the caffeine and sugar. All the taste.
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Silver: Mountain Dew
Self explanatory.
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Gold: Java Chip Frappachino
Chocolate, whipped cream, chocolate chips. There's nothing better.
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