Skip to main content

Top 20 Chuck Norris Facts

To cheer you up :)

20. When Chuck Norris looks in a mirror the mirror shatters, because not even glass is stupid enough to get in between Chuck Norris and Chuck Norris.

19. The reason newborn babies cry is because they know they have just entered a world with Chuck Norris.

18. When God said, "Let there be light", Chuck Norris said, "say please."

17. Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

16. If it looks like chicken, tastes like chicken, and feels like chicken but Chuck Norris says its beef, then it's fucking beef.

15. Bill Gates lives in constant fear that Chuck Norris' PC will crash.

14. Chuck Norris once had an erection while lying face down and struck oil.

13. Chuck Norris can create a rock so heavy that even he can't lift it. And then he lifts it anyways, just to show you who the fuck Chuck Norris is.

12. Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in 3 moves.

11. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names
for his left and right legs.

10. Chuck Norris once visited the Virgin Islands. They are now The Islands.

9. If you want a list of Chuck Norris’ enemies, just check the extinct species list.

8. M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

7. Chuck Norris likes to knit sweaters in his free time. And by "knit", I mean "kick", and by "sweaters", I mean "babies".

6. Jack was nimble, Jack was quick, but Jack still couldn't dodge Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.

5. Chuck Norris is always on top during sex because Chuck Norris never fucks up.

4. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting implies the possibility of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

3. Most men are okay with their wives fantasizing about Chuck Norris during sex, because they are doing the same thing.

2. The only time Chuck Norris was wrong was when he thought he had made a mistake.

1. Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not "attempt" murder.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (20-1)

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (100-81)
My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (80-61)
My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (60-41)
My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (40-21)

20. Vexing Devil

Giving an opponent a choice is never a good idea. However I really feel like it's win win here in the aggressive deck. A 4/3 for one will almost always be worth a card. So the real question is - is it worth a card to deal 4 damage for a red? It's not quite Flame Slash good in a control deck, or as great top deck as Thunderous Wrath but better than Thunderbolt or Lava Axe.

19. Scute Mob

Not a true one drop. But by turn six hopefully you are going get a hydra-like insect that will quickly get insanely huge if not dealt with. My biggest issue is that it doesn't have trample. It's still a great costed creature that can do some work if unchecked. There are lots of ways to give it Trample in Green not named Rancor.

18. Dragonmaster Outcast

And yet another non-true one drop. If you can stay…

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (100-81)

One drops are the least important thing in any draft or sealed pool. You shouldn't play them pretty much ever. They typically do little for you, don't fit random cards, or just suck. And why should they, you aren't expected to win the game by turn 1(not counting you Legacy). In constructed, it's a whole different ball game. You have these cheap cards that actually interact with other cards in your deck. Not only that - your selection is a lot wider and if you look deep enough, you can find cards that can really put the pressure on.

The number 100 just kind of worked out. There are approximately 600 one costed creatures, and I honestly only checked out about 400 of them - top half and the very bottom(maybe I trust The Gatherer too much, but I'm always open to suggestions!). I found 95 that I really liked just naturally. The other 5 are included as my bottom 5, but 100 of course just sounded better.
I could have forced myself to get 5 more, but there are essentially…

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (80-61)

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (100-81)


80. Phyrexian Dreadnought

Illusionary Mask combo aside, a 12/12 Trample for one is certainly an interesting idea. At some point in the game you will have some 1/1s or even 2/2s that you don't need, maybe something get's Pacifism'd. Then you have a real card capable of becoming the largest threat on the board that will end the game in two turns unless dealt with. It does have quite the possibility of ruining your entire game plan if it gets Doom Blade'd or something. There are other ways to abuse it - Torpor Orb, Pandemonium, Fling.

79. Kor Duelist

Requiring equipment for it to be useful is a drawback, but for one mana you get the possibility of a double striking monster. Even if you could give it +2/+0 or heck Loxodon Warhammer then you get a fantastic deal for a single mana. Put it in a deck with the Swords and just go to town. A turn two Bonesplitter will hit for six.

78. Scattershot Archer

Repeated Bitterblossom kill. It is…