Saturday, June 22, 2013

My 100 Worst Magic Cards Part 3/5

60. Vampiric Feast
 photo VampiricFeast_zpse21e8ab4.jpg
A drain life that costs one extra colorless mana. Fine, doesn't seem too bad. The problem with it though is you need the 7 mana to use it, no killing something smaller for a lot less mana. Also the fact that you can't kill something for more than 4 is also a huge consideration for a 7 mana spell.

59. Cyclopean Snare
 photo CyclopeanSnare_zpseb853b50.jpg
At least this is semi-removal. But 5 mana a turn to tap down a creature - even your opponents best is quite a lot of resources to dedicate.

58. Rites of Reaping
 photo RitesofReaping_zpsea2c70de.jpg
A giant growth at sorcery speed and 5 more mana to give a creature -3/-3. Way too expensive. Probably playable at 4, useable at 3 and at instant speed - a real card.

57. Death of a Thousand Stings
Seeing this card drain for about 4 today did not change my mind. 5 mana a turn to extort is barely passable.

56. Flare
 photo Flare_zps7b3301ed.jpg
So bad, many red cards are worth much more doing 2, 3 heck even 4 damage for less mana and don't have the silly cantrip associated with it.

55. Joyous Respite
 photo JoyousRespite_zpsac118fc1.jpg
Maybe you have 4 lands, 6, 8? I guess at 8 lands you get a better bargain than the Elixir of Vitality, but what if you draw this opening hand. Just a dead card.

54. Kamahl's Sledge
 photo KamahlsSledge_zpsafdaf3a2.jpg
Just compare Flame Slash. The good news is that at 7 mana, you had better have hit threshold if you are playing this card on purpose.

53. Mercadian Lift
 photo MercadianLift_zpsc307eab1.jpg
Losing a card and playing two mana allows you to - cast cards as you normally would for their regular casting cost. Well, um, I guess if you are just land screwed and waiting around for that 3+ casting cost spell to be played, this will allow you to play it. And you've lost.

52. Meteor Crater
 photo MeteorCrater_zpsf014f26d.jpg
The only mana producing land in the game that can't cast something without a permanent being on the board. Think about that awhile. And not only does it just add 1, it adds one of the same color. God Awful.

51. Sacred Rites
 photo SacredRites_zps57256f5e.jpg
Play a card and discard 3 cards to give all your creatures 3 extra toughness for a turn. No. This is only passable as discarding one card and saving some of your creatures. Even doing that costs you two cards for hopefully one of your opponents in return.

50. Barreling Attack
 photo BarrelingAttack_zpsfbac6f6f.jpg
Way too expensive to give a creature trample until end of turn. It might be worth it if you have a huge creature getting chump blocked. But that's very specific territory.

49. Pale Moon
 photo PaleMoon_zps94acb9a4.jpg
Take that non basic lands. It costs you a card and only lasts one turn. Not sure when this would be useful. Early game, you are losing a turn. Late game and they might have more lands than non basic ones, and probably won't be hurt too much by this card. And it works against you as well.

48. Malicious Advice
 photo MaliciousAdvice_zps99c44d4b.jpg
Expensive in lots of ways. It could be used as a finisher. To be tapping cards for one turn - not even lands effectively - for the cost of a good amount of mana and some life is pretty terrible.

47. Tahngarth's Glare
 photo TahngarthsGlare_zpsb8cecad7.jpg
Just a worthless card. If your opponent is tutoring, set them back 2 turns. There's not much else you can do about it. Just inevitable. And they get to do it back to you.

46. Enter the Infinite
 photo EntertheInfinite_zpsf2e8f40d.jpg
To play this card assumes lots of things - 1. That you can cast the 12 mana monstrosity. 2. That you have nothing better to do with 12 mana(what turn is this?). 3. You must have a winning combo you can make with your deck in one turn. Way too specific. These cards that are the worst are unplayable under most circumstances.

45. Acceptable Losses
 photo AcceptableLosses_zps7230db8a.jpg
Two cards, one of them maybe useful and 4 mana to do 5 damage to a creature at sorcery speed. These are not acceptable losses. Maybe as instant, for 2 mana?

44. Wolfhunter's Quiver
6 mana to turn one of your creatures into a Tim. There are much better, much cheaper equipment cards. Oh wait you are playing a werewolf deck, ah ha!

43. Great Wall
 photo GreatWall_zpsf205495e.jpg
The number of creatures with Plainswalking is absurdly low. Lower than the other four colors by far. That said, at least this card doesn't hurt you like these next two cards.

42. Carnival of Souls
 photo CarnivalofSouls_zps3d58668b.jpg
Very popular card in lists like this. Yes, I believe there are 41 cards shittier than this. Hurt yourself for 2 mana! Maybe you can do something with all that extra black mana one at a time, maybe you help ping yourself to death.

41. Fasting
 photo Fasting_zps42c34ae7.jpg
Why in the world you would skip your draw phase to gain 2 life is an unanswerable question. Not even sure this can double up with Necropotence. The good news is that the nonsense only lasts for 5 turns. Even if you had an ultimate lock... Would you deny yourself 5 cards - for the cost of a card -  for the slow gain of 10 life? Maybe your opponent has too many Howling Mines and is milling you?


  1. Carnival of Souls was shit until extort arrived, now this card means "Loss 1 life, every opponent loss 1 life and you gain this much life." for each creature ETB under your control and "You loss 1 life and good luck with that extra mana" if the creature ETB is under opponent control.

    Yeah, is specific, but now less worst... maybe 100 position instead of 42 :p

  2. The Anonymous who posted swore.