Skip to main content

My 100 Worst Magic Cards Part 5/5

20. Waste Away
 photo WasteAway_zpsadeddd1f.jpg
Call for Blood(#28) was pretty horrific. Same mana cost, you just had to sacrifice a creature instead of a card from your hand. At least here you can dump a land, but you are still 2-1ing yourself. That one however could at least be spliced and take out things larger than a Craw Wurm.

19. Tomb of Urami
 photo TombofUrami_zps0bff8e32.jpg
Non Ogre decks aside. A pain land swamp. Pretty bad so far. Sacrifice all lands for a 5/5 Flyer? Since this is the last thing you are going to be playing, you had better hope your opponent can't remove it. Creatures and removal are too good now days for a duelist to let a self Armageddoning creature to win. If it wasn't Legendary, or required the sacrifice of all other lands or didn't require tapping - then we might have a situational card. But even a dark ritual doesn't allow for this thing to come out prior to turn 3.

18. Heavy Mattock
 photo HeavyMattock_zpse1dec5f3.jpg
In a Human deck - 5 mana to give +2/+2 is a fairly big waste of time. So help you if you aren't playing Humans. Artifact heavy decks can't even afford to play this thing.

17. Runesword
 photo Runesword_zps1b9f1936.jpg
9 mana to give 2 power to a creature until of turn??!? I guess affected creatures can't regenerate and are exiled is decent, but you have to tap 3 every turn and only targets attacking creatures - which means your opponent doesn't have to block with his regenerators. And of course the icing on the cake - if the creature dies, so does the sword. Bleh!

16. Razor Boomerang
 photo RazorBoomerang_zpscc4e7faf.jpg
5 mana a turn to deal 1 damage to creature or player. Sure not efficient mana wise. Also requires equipping and attaching to a non summoning sickness creature. That sends it over the top into awful status. What the hell is that art? If there is a way to abuse artifacts coming into play, then this does have some value.

15. Magma Vein
 photo MagmaVein_zps6ba1c5a5.jpg
The fact that it can't hurt your opponent or only your opponent's creatures is the reason this is so bad. It costs 4 mana and the additional red requirement of mana to be essentially doing a Pestilence and Stone Rain on yourself at the same time. Not going to work in any non mono red deck. Also not targeting flyers makes this even more limited.

14. Dispersing Orb
 photo DispersingOrb_zps0b53da63.jpg
Very similar in lots of ways to #15. Except it costs 9 whopping mana to use, a whopping 4 extra each time to use it and only bounces cards. At least Magma Vein can take out your opponent's Grim Lavamancer. This just bounces cards temporarily while you sacrifice cards permanently. How is this even remotely playable?

13. Ember Shot/Scorching Spear
 photo EmberShot_zpsaa93b9bd.jpg
I dislike both of these more than Flare (#56, 1 damage, cantrip). 7 mana seems like way too much for a cantrip lighting bolt. It would probably be appropriately costed at 3 or 4. This as it stands is the second worst direct damage in the game. (Oh we will get there soon #1) Scorching Spear on the other hand just seems like a waste of card space/time/effort/art/money. It's not completely useless, but close.

12. Aladdin's Lamp
 photo AladdinsLamp_zpsbc74462f.jpg
My favorite overpriced card. It's been around forever and I've never saw any person or machine cast this thing. It's affect on the game is also so very small. There are enough tutors in the game now that cost 1 mana or even as high as 4 that are much better than this card. I suppose it can grab you the card you need every turn, kind of for the same 10 mana you used to play this thing. The Ring was silly as well, but at least did something. You can draw a card for 1 every turn if you found a way to play this without it's casting cost, beyond that(and possibly animating it) it's another waste of an extra land you could of had.

11. Pyromania
 photo Pyromania_zpsf4e9f312.jpg
5 mana and 2 cards(one possibly useful) to deal 1 damage. Hmm, oh wait you want to use this again? 7 mana and 3 cards to deal 2 damage... At what point can you keep doing this? Entire decks were made out of Stormbind however, so maybe, just maybe, this is balanced.

10. Steamclaw
 photo Steamclaw_zps08adf762.jpg
The best definition of a do nothing artifact with the exception of Darksteel Relic. This however costs 5 mana to remove 1 card in a graveyard from the game. Colorless graveyard hate is one thing, but this is just too expensive. I know of at least 4 artifacts that do this much better. I do like the flavor text on it though(and the art).

9. Wintermoon Mesa
 photo WintermoonMesa_zps0a480c18.jpg
Comes into play tapped and adds one colorless. Okay for this to fly the ability must be pretty good right? Sacrifice it to tap two lands? Who? What? That is astounding bad. I'm not sure if this is worse early or late game. If you draw it early game you have to be treating it as a spell because you can't count on it for a land. You can't use it the turn it comes into play, and if your opponent has any foresight, then it won't do anything late game either.

8. Farmstead
 photo Farmstead_zps3e851f11.jpg
5 white mana means you can't play this is anything without lots of plains. That is the good news. And it's a rare. If both of those don't stop you, then please pay 2 mana a turn to gain 1 life. Please only do this once. And to make matters worse, 4 months later Wizards came out with Fountain of Youth, which is infinitely better in every deck.

7. Armistice
 photo Armistice_zpse761aea4.jpg
Math time: 5WWW and your opponent gains 3 life for this card to just cycle itself. You want card advantage +1? How about 8WWWWW and your opponent gains 6 life. I would actually kind of want my opponent to do this. By the time this gives you any kind of advantage, you have lost 5 mana for a number of turns and given your opponent like 12 life. What a....

6. Bargain
 photo Bargain_zps91dc019a.jpg
My favorite life gaining spell. 2-1 yourself to gain 7 life for the low cost of 3 mana. I'm pretty sure that's not a bargain. Or actually maybe it is for your opponent. Hopefully they aren't playing Mindslaver and force you to play this.

5. Phyrexian Tribute
 photo PhyrexianTribute_zps6e1cb08b.jpg
Poor black, get's hosed in the artifact department. White and Green have Disenchant and Naturalize respectively. While red gets 1 and 2 mana artifact hate as well as Shatterstorm and the like, black ends up with a 3-1 sorcery speed card which also costs 3 mana. This is just wow. Only the truly desperate mono black mage with no other options would consider this sideboard worthy.

4. Security Detail
 photo SecurityDetail_zpsa705fa8f.jpg
6 mana for a 1/1 soldier token that you can create every turn! Except if you have any other creatures of course, but that's hardly a drawback. Suicide attack every turn! That's an endless supply of tokens!

3. Sorrow's Path
 photo SorrowsPath_zps3d9f7182.jpg
The most infamous land of all time. Combos with your opponents Icy Manipulator. Yes, in my opinion there are two cards worse than this.

2. One With Nothing
 photo OnewithNothing_zps7dc85c0e.jpg
Thank goodness this is black, cause if it was green or blue then it would be number 1 for sure. Black at least has those re-animator decks as well as cards which have abilities that deal with having no cards in hand. Those are very specific reasons to play this card. In any other deck this is completely unplayable under any circumstance.

1.  Break Open
 photo BreakOpen_zps6d5b401b.jpg
Congrats to Break Open for being the worst card in the game! Only 2 mana that's not the issue. An instant, also no problem. Your opponent must be playing morphed creatures which severely when you can actually cast this. You can ruin your opponent's surprises! Har. Break Open a Unstable Hulk and force them to lose a turn! Maybe they have Thrashing Mudspawn which you can repeatedly deal damage to! I don't know. I really don't know how this is supposed to help.

Let me know what you think!

Comments

  1. Force Open is surely the worst card of all time. The only way this could be used currently is if you have a buddy "opponent" in EDH which you actually want to help. Even then this would be frowned.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (20-1)

My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (100-81) My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (80-61) My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (60-41) My Top 100 One Drop (CC) Creatures (40-21) 20. Vexing Devil Giving an opponent a choice is never a good idea. However I really feel like it's win win here in the aggressive deck. A 4/3 for one will almost always be worth a card. So the real question is - is it worth a card to deal 4 damage for a red? It's not quite Flame Slash good in a control deck, or as great top deck as Thunderous Wrath but better than Thunderbolt or Lava Axe . 19. Scute Mob Not a true one drop. But by turn six hopefully you are going get a hydra-like insect that will quickly get insanely huge if not dealt with. My biggest issue is that it doesn't have trample. It's still a great costed creature that can do some work if unchecked. There are lots of ways to give it Trample in Green not named Rancor . 18. Dragonmaster Outcast And yet another non-true o

50 Favorite Adult Swim Characters

I tried to get a good variety and yet be fair to what I like the most. I'm sure there are one I've missed and some that might be surprising but if it aired on Adult Swim - I can use it. I didn't use any characters from either Robot Chicken or Tim and Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! as they are basically clip shows and while good, the re-occurring characters aren't used enough. Also, it turns out H. Jon Benjamin is the voice for half these shows. 50. Chains     Fat Guy Stuck in Internet 49. Assy McGee    Assy McGee H. Jon Benjamin plays the mayor. 48. The Mayor    Tom Goes to the Mayor A Picture of Jeff Goldbloom instead of the Mayor, but this was by far the funniest thing on the show. 47. Inuyasha    Inuyasha 46. Satan     Lucy: The Daughter of the Devil Wears Bill Cosby sweaters and is always trying to kill his daughters boyfriend DJ Jesus. Yeah... One of the H. Jon Benjamin voices 45. Brak    The Brak Show/Space Ghost Alien space p