Friday, July 5, 2013

My 100 Worst Magic Cards Part 4/5

40. Coral Reef
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Like a poor Blue Wizard's Castle. Double blue casting cost and requirement of a sacrificed Island and blue creature guarantees you need heavy blue to run this. Let's do math - Pay UUUUUU: Tap 4 Untapped Blue creatures to give one creature +0/+4. Not a thing champions are made of.

39. Mudhole
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There's probably some sideboard reason for a 3 mana Tormod's Crypt that only target's lands. You wouldn't touch this if you were Radkos - see Rakdos Charm. But I don't care to find out. Awful art, flavor text. I usually don't look at those things, but I really have as much to say about this card as it's effect on the game.

38. Shaman's Trace
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This is nonsense. You thought Mudhole was bad. This only stops cards for one turn. Now you can Flashback your opponents cards for a turn. Need to Bash to Bits a pesky artifact? Do it with your opponents graveyard! This card will win some games. I don't use hyperbole.

37. Naked Singularity
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What is going on with this card? How many turns can you possibly keep this up? Does your control deck produce 5 colors of mana(or 0 colors) or is in a good enough place to stop spell casting for a turn or two? Playing 4 Eon Hub? Time Walk it ain't. Silence it ain't. Blood Moon it ain't. Reality Twist it... oh it is...

36. Essence Bottle
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I've picked on life gaining quite a bit in this bottom 100. Gaining 4 life for 4 mana, or gaining 8 life for 12 mana - these are wastefully bad deals. However, to gain 2 life for 5 mana is painful. 4 life for 8 mana? 6 life for 11 mana? 8 life for 14 mana? This card has all of those beaten and requires tapping to use and charge which your opponent can blow up if it ever gets out of hand.

35. Part Water
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Start off and we have a sideboard Sorcery card. Okay. 3 mana to give one creature blue unblockable until end of turn. Very specific. But if you want a finisher, your going to pay through the roof. People ran Recall back in the day. So it's not just about cost, the ability is just not good.

34. Fanatical Fever
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A Giant Growth, a Mutagenic Growth and Titanic Growth all rolled up into one... one casting cost that is. This doesn't save your creature like the Growths above. It's more like a Berserk which costs 4 times as much and is more useless on anything with a power greater than 1.

33. Rapid Fire
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It's a combat trick. Wait it's not. Play before defense is chosen? 4 mana is not acceptable for first strike. So for this to be useable you need to rely on your creature being double blocked then hopefully 2-1ing them. Your opponent isn't going to do this willingly unless your creature poses a threat.

32. Into Thin Air
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Affinity is a neat concept. You wouldn't run this card if you weren't heavy artifact. The issue is that most bounce spells - Chain of Vapor, Reset, heck even Boomerang - cost 1 or 2 mana anyway. There is just not enough of a reason to run an expensive bounce which only targets artifacts.

31. Jandor's Ring
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I'm not one of those people who cycles cards very often. I'm not a huge play tester, I just run the cards I like. I wouldn't play a card like this. 8 mana to discard and draw a card is silly to me. Why play a card at all if it is worth no value to you. In limited, sure why not. You need to run 40 cards sometimes. But in a constructed environment - cycling is an added bonus, not something to strive for.

30. Morbid Hunger
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Why are cards capitalized on the flavor text of the card and not the title. This is 3 times as expensive as Lightning Helix and at Sorcery speed mind you. But wait, it has flashback for the low low cost of 9 mana. That's almost a tease rather than being useful. I dislike this more than Vampiric Feast(#60) because while it's slightly more expensive, Feast has more game change ability. If that was even possible. Make sure you are playing Crypt Ghast or Lake of the Dead to use this thing.

29. Mammoth Harness
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More lowercase-ness. Poor Green. 4 mana doesn't give you decent removal. All you get is Roots, Shrink and the ability to give your opponent a 3/3 creature. Removing flying and giving last strike is not going to work only any good creature. It might cause problems with 3 drop fliers, but not 4s likely making this a very poor card. And a rare.. ha.

28. Call for Blood
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2-1ing yourself is never a good idea. But to make Call for Blood worse, you need 5 mana and a creature with power at least as great as one of your opponents creatures toughness in order to do so. Specific + Inefficient + Expensive = Terribleness.

27. Lifted By Clouds
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Jump and Leap were too powerful so they had to tack on 2 colorless mana and some crazy creature art.

26. Rakalite
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One of my least favorite as I have multiple copies and I always feel like it might be useful. But the return to hand effect is just not going to fly in any deck I play. This card would just not be made now days. I love doing the math. Want to prevent 3 damage on 2 consecutive turns? How about 24 mana!?

25. Juju Bubble
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Oh stupid life gaining, you're back in our lives already. You can't play another card while this is in play. I don't think your opponent will mind. It has a cumulative upkeep so you can't even race this effectively. 5 mana to gain 2 life? Oh Sweet Essence Bottle Irony. Go and play with Prototype Portal.

24. Snowfall
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Holy cow. Need to keep the Cumlative Upkeep alive for that Naked Singularity or Illusions of Grandeur? I suppose you can use this, albeit temporarily as this thing itself has CU. Why does it cost 3 mana for this effect? Were they just trying to mess with us? Tapping an Island for 3 blue sounds good, but pointless since you need snow covered Islands and cards with CU. At least they made Braid of Fire to try and forget this card.

23. North Star
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Mana Fixing! Just pay the 8 mana up front and tada, 5 colors here we come. This is not a serious card. Only in the earliest of Legend decks trying to play those 3 color dragons would have attempted to run this. Laugh now as we have Prismatic Omen and Chromatic Lantern.

22. Sandstone Deadfall.
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Gehh. 2 lands and a card and 3 mana to take out an attacking creature. Your opponent knows this is coming. He will only attack if it's acceptable. And boy to 3-1 yourself(and your opponent's 1 is conditional) is about as terrible of a deal as your going to get.

21. Erosion
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The terrible art, the terrible 3 blue casting cost, the terrible everything. The fact that it doesn't even destroy a land, it just taps it down your opponents worst land...optionally. Play 4 and watch as your opponent's head explodes while he is busy playing real spells. Watch your opponent quiver in horror while you play a first turn Black Lotus and drop Erosion onto their Plains. Make sure to cackle as you do so as he or she conceits.

1 comment:

  1. Erosion is actually terrifying.

    ReplyDelete