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Showing posts from June, 2024

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #12. License to Kill

Timothy Dalton and director John Glen both return in a revenge tale after David Hedison's Felix Leiter gets killed post wedding. Dalton is in his last big role before becoming a villain in The Rocketeer. I saw that Talisa Soto looked familiar and I was first thinking Hotshots Part Deux, but turns out she was in Mortal Kombat. Also in Mortal Kombat, Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa shows up working with Bond as well. Carey Lowell and Talisa Soto form a sort of love triangle with James. Grand Bush on the other hand was in Street Fighter. Villain Robert Davi was once in Die Hard, Goonies and Expendables. A 21 year old Benicio Del Toro shows up here in a kind of bit villain role. I recognized Anthony Zerbe, but I did have to look up where from - which happens to be The Matrix Reloaded as a Councillor that Neo talks to in one scene. MI6 doesn't think the drug lord that killed Leiter is worth investigating, bars Bond so he can't carry his license kill. Bond joins Lowell's Pam Bouvier a

Stirred, Not Shaken: Ranking The Bond Movies - #13. You Only Live Twice

Bond #5 out of 7 for Connery and the second highest grossing movie in 1967. If I had to pick a Bond trilogy by one director it would be Lewis Gilbert (Though I would give the dual feature to Martin Campbell). Between this, Spy and Moonraker, there is no weak outing among them and they all share similar story structures. There is even a shared space theme between this and Moonraker. This one however is the Japanese Bond, we have Bond 'dieing' in the opening scene, but of course it's all a ruse so Bond can do Bond things while Spectre leaves him alone. The United States and Russia face off against each other but they are both getting played by a returning Donald Pleasence Blofeld after each country loses a spacecraft. We get sumo wrestling, a Japanese wedding, kimonos, ninjas. It all climaxes in Dr. Evil's secret volcano lair. Honestly there are some Austin Powers jokes taken from this movie. We get a Bond here that doesn't drive a car, go to MI6, wear a tuxedo and

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #14. For Your Eyes Only

First Bond to be based on one of Fleming's short stories. Top 3 Moore Bond for sure in my opinion but it is ranked #2 here. I would argue Moonraker, Octopussy, and Live are roughly on the same level, and I think For Your Eyes Only and The Spy Who Loved Me are the best of Roger Moore. Moore does agree with that opinion that the two were his favorite and also the best ones he did. It's the winter Olympics Bond. Moments definitely stand out like the ending lair being high up on a scalable mountain that James traverses. The beginning scene sees Bond showdown with Blofeld in a helicopter. James finishes him off once and for all and we don't see him again until Spectre. Bond gets attacked in all kinds of events like: hockey, bobsled, ski jump and ski shooting. There is a motorcycle cross country chase The first of 5 Bond movies to be directed by John Glen. It's definitely not his worst outing, with that going to View, but 3 of the next 4 are solid which include the Dalton o

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #15. On Her Majesty's Secret Service

Not a happy ending in so many ways. At the end of the 60s and towards the relative end of Connery's Bond, we are given a George Lazenby (Golden Globe nominated) outing. The movie was a huge success and Lazenby was supposed to come back for Diamonds, but some level of hesitation on his part, cockiness on his part (wanted and sometimes failed to do his own stunts) and reviews (mostly negative, but Connery comparisons were inevitable) left George as the only one timer. We have an infiltrating Bond going into Blofeld's headquarters filled with women galore and try to stop a brainwashing scheme. Bond eventually get's married to lovely Diana Rigg's Tracy, but their marriage only lasts minutes as she gets gunned down by Blofeld. I don't know Telly Savalas or even George Lazenby from anything else and while I don't have a strong opinion on Lazenby other than he's worse than Connery but fluffier than Dalton, Savalas's Blofeld is a decent performance (though he&

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #16. Moonraker

I said Live and Let Die was one of the strangest but this may be the most ridiculous Bond (and that is saying something). Bond in space is more out there than Voodoo Bond, 60 year old bond, dead Leiter revenge Bond, Newspaper Bond, Sun laser Bond, pain doesn't affect me but Denise Richards scientist Bond, circus Bond or no writers for this movie Bond. And I'm here for it. The first time I watched it and there was a space battle at the end, my mind was blown. Clearly affected by Star Wars popularity (there is even a red leader reference). The plot is actually pretty normal, world-ending-start-over-nuke-the-world weapons. They bring Jaws back, a pretty great character and side villain and he even has a line of dialogue here. The sky diving scene is pretty neat and the cable car scene is good as well. There is also a fight in a glass museum. Two boat chases as well. Bond doesn't drive a car at all here, which is highly unusual. Director Lewis Gilbert did three Bonds and this

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #17. Live and Let Die

The first Moore movie is by far one of the strangest titles to exist. Connery turned down $5.5M to come back. Moore was already 45 at the time of this first outing coming from years of The Saint. It's even wackier than Moonraker's Star Wars rip off, You Only Live Twice's Japan, Diamond's Vegas, Die Another Day's surfing, etc. Voodoo or the supernatural is bizarre as far as weapons or gimmicks goes. Doesn't actually take place in Jamaica or any real country but we do get to see Bond's home for just the second time. We do get scenes in New Orleans and Harlem and they stand out in a good way. No Q here, but the watch has several important roles. The only Moore movie to have Felix Leiter. I don't know the actual leads too well. Yaphet Kotto was Parker in Alien, so I've watched him a ton in that role. Jane Seymour was in Wedding Crashers but her Solitaire is one of the best Bond girls and the only to beat Bond in cards. They introduce the Clifton James

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #18. Octopussy

The clown show, the egg hunt, the strange pun title, yet at times a fairly entertaining outing by 007. Yes nukes are involved and it does come down to the wire, but the remainder of the movie is given littler urgency. As an example, Bond shows up in a hot air balloon with Q at the end and they make jokes to eachother. There are multiple double 0 agents dressed up as clowns durning the runtime. There are many reasons this film shouldn't work and by most accounts it doesn't. Tied with Man With the Golden Gun for the second lowest RT critic score. Only 4 have a lower RT audience score but again I enjoy it. It's kind of the opposite of Diamonds are Forever in terms of how much it entertained me. John Glen directed 5 Bonds, this is probably not the worst, but not in his top 2 for sure. I think the Dalton ones and Spy are better overall but it's a step over View. Maud Adams second outing after Golden Gun but playing a different character. Earned $27M more than Never Say Nev

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #19. The Man with the Golden Gun

Luckily the next four Roger Moore Bonds get much better after a strange intro in Live and Let Die and whatever this movie is. Second worst RT score so far behind A View to Kill. I have this as the worst Bond at the moment. It does have a better IMDB score than everything prior on this list. One of the lowest grossing movies, second lowest next to View that isn't a Dalton or Lazenby Bond. The idea of a golden gun is cool, but that's where it ends. The invisible laser beam does nothing. All four of the Guy Hamilton directed movies arguably get worse with each outing. (Goldfinger, Diamonds, Live, and this). Christopher Lee is a treasure and deserved better than the tan, fake nippled assassin (even though he enjoyed the role), very similiar to Walken. So it's basically Scaramanga (Lee) wants to kill Bond, invites James to his island, James comes, James kills Scaramanga, shrug emoji. There is a fun house hall of mirriors shoot out that happens with a wax Moore, which is the be

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #20. Quantum of Solace

Filmed in the driest desert in the world and that's how the whole movie sort of feels. Easily the worst of the Daniel Craig movies. I think the writer's strike had a big effect on the writing of the movie as they didn't have it finished going into production. It picks up right where Casino leaves off with a car chase, which is probably the best action scene in the movie. The other memorable scene is the end with a building on fire in the desert, but Bond never really seems in danger even diving out of a plane with no chute. The spy investigation and the Opera scene is my favorite part of the movie. The whole movie also kind of feels like one long revenge scene, but it never really gets its footing. The plane chase and dive are pretty sweet. The gun barrel scene happens at the end of the movie. It was a rushed post production, but they did start working on it before Casino had gotten started. The title isn't great, Bond is looking for his Quantum and it's also the

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #21. The World Is Not Enough

Highest grossing Bond movie at it's time (until Die Another Day). Was nominated for 12 awards. The only I've ever watched in the theater. So much doesn't work for me though. Oil pipeline macguffin, yawn. It's certainly not as interesting as any kind of generic world ending bomb, maybe more interesting than a newsmedia company (Tomorrow). A bad guy that can't feel pain, sounds good in theory, do they do anything interesting with it.. no. It actually might be Judi Dench's best bond movie, she certainly is given the most to do that isn't named Skyfall. I dislike everything about Sophie Marceau's character. There is like a 30 minute scene where Bond is getting choked for the entirety but there are no repercussions. Desmond Llewelyn's last outing as Q who actually died in a car crash after the movie came out. Denise Richards is gorgeous, but did win a Razzie for this role. I cringe at all the Christmas jokes. Replacing these women with Maria Grazia Cuci

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #22. Never Say Never Again

The one non-Eon movie on this list. Script was taken from the original Thunderball screenplay. Connery's age doesn't bother me quite like Moore's age in View although Connery was younger here than Moore was in Octopussy which came out in the same year. Kim Basinger is lovely here as one of the Bond girls. Directed by post Empire Strikes Back's Irvin Kershner. Basinger and Kershner did not reportedly get along. Max von Sydow plays Bloefeld but most of his scenes were cut. Mr. Bean has more lines than usual here in his first role. Steven Seagal was the movie's martial arts instructor and broke Connery's wrist. Was going to be titled 'James Bond of the Secret Service'. It feels like the most stand alone movie of any, but you do have Connery returning after 12 years. Nothing too silly or gimicky happening besides the wink and the retirement jokes. I do think being the bottom half the 75% level is about where it belongs rank-wise. Movie

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #23. A View to Kill

John Glen directed 5 different Bond movies. A View to Kill was the middle one and easily his worst. Obviously the last Moore movie and the oldest Bond at 57. Moore's least favorite as well (too old, too violent, not a Grace Jones fan). It's the last Louis Maxwell's Moneypenny outing as well. I liked it much better the first time I watched it, putting it at #9, but something about knowing he was 57 took away from the movie. Lowest rated Rotten Tomato movie so far. The Walken/Grace Jones combination is fine, typical brains/brawn combination but nothing special either. The Bond girl Tanya Roberts bugged me and I had to look up where I had saw her before, which is the neighbor mom in That 70s Show. I think the middle of the movie works well as Bond (and the fun character Tibbett) infiltrates the Max Zorin Horse Ranch. The computer chip, silicon valley macguffin isn't bad, but it's closer to being bad than good. I do like the Golden Gate Bridge appearance. The underwat

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #24. Tomorrow Never Dies

It's a Golden Eye hangover. I'm a big Jonathan Pryce fan after Pirates, Game of Thrones, GI-Joe, but as a villain he must be one of the least threatening if not thee least imposing big bad. Maybe because he is the only one that has a spouse, even though he kills her. The plot doesn't make sense in this day in age of 2024 but even at the time, newspapers as the macguffin just seems poor at best. Starting WW3 is pretty common as are stealth ships but to try and control the situation after that makes almost zero sense. Teri Hatcher seems like a decent Bond girl despite being pregnant and almost having nothing to do here. She makes up for whatever lack of chemistry was happening between Michelle Yeoh and Brosnan. The Halo jump is awesome, but then all the wind (no pun) gets taken out of it when Yeoh just shows up underwater. I do really like the remote controlled car and the action scenes like the motorcycle chase are actually quite entertaining. The train man Vincent Schiave

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies - #25. Diamonds Are Forever

Probably a harsher spot than you would find on most lists. The series seemed to hit camp level by this film. A 1971 Vegas setting diamond macguffin 007 movie. It's just never seemed that good or bad to me one way or another. In one scene James gets attacked by two women in a pool, and they are beating him good, but magically he comes up getting the better of them. Blofeld dies early in the movie but then he comes back as he was cloned multiple times..? There is a gay comedy villain duo which might be the most interesting thing about the movie. Connery gets put in a coffin as the duo tries to kill him and he gets out somehow that I can even remember. I only write these to illustrate just how bleh the whole thing is. There is also a fake moon landing in a chase. I do like how the Bond girl accidentally foils Bond near the end. Lana Wood claimed to have an affair with Connery, that might be only noteworthy thing to come out of it. I personally think Never Say Never was a much better

Shaken, Not Stirred: Ranking The Bond Movies #26(/26) Die Another Day

It started with a small goal - let's watch four 007 movies since they are on HBO Max, picking one film from each Bond actor. Well, of course I couldn't stop there. I watched all of the ones that HBO had to offer. I decided I really wanted to watch The Living Daylights as I remember that one fondly. Finally, I wanted to watch the latest No Time to Die. I didn't really need an excuse for that one but it did give me a good opportunity to re-watch Spectre. There were four I didn't re-watch for this list (Skyfall, Quantum, Casino, Goldeneye) but I am more familiar with them or I felt like I had watched them more recently. I did not include the 1967 Casino Royale spoof. I did watch it once, but feels worse and out of place with the others. It's been a year since I did the Basketball movie rankings, and while I swear I will get to 100 baseball movies some day, today I'm starting Bond. Similar to the basketball movies, I'm using my average of how I ranked them, how